Meghan Tells It

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Bridges November 6, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Meghan Hamilton @ 6:01 pm
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Do you burn bridges behind you?  I don’t.  I hate confrontation.  When it is time for a relationship to end, I generally go quietly without a fuss.  If a relationship has been important to me, I may cry and grieve over the loss, but I don’t go away in a dramatic display causing me to never want to face that person again.

In particular, I think of a few friendships that have ended over the years.  I had one friend, I use that term loosely, that I spent a lot of time with.  We traveled together, ate a lot of dinners together, watched movies together, etc…  But when I look back on the relationship, I was the one always calling her.  She often cancelled on me.  Then she stopped returning my calls.  Was I being rejected?  Yes.  Because she didn’t like me?  No.  It turns out that this person is rather self-centered.  She is there for me when it fits into her schedule. 

Not too long ago she called to apologise for not having time for her friends for a couple of years due to problems in her relationship with her now ex-boyfriend.  Then she launched into a litany of her current problems and asked for advice.  This took about an hour.  She asked how I was.  But I wasn’t sure how to fit three or four very challenging years into one conversation.  The day she called, things were good.  I had called her from time to time when I needed a shoulder.  She had neither picked up the phone, nor called back.  When I needed the support, she wasn’t there.  I don’t like to rehash problems.  So, I didn’t rehash, I just told her I was having a good day and thanks for calling.

I haven’t heard from her since beyond a few facebook comments.  Nor have I picked up the phone to call her.  I don’t think I ever will again.  I have learned who is actually there when I need to cry.  Did I burn the bridge that connects me to her?  No.  But I have decided not to cross it again.  Should I burn it and tell her I no longer want to have a “friendship?”  I don’t think that’s necessary.  I have cried my tears over what I thought I had with her.  She can call me if she wants.  Maybe I will pick up.  I don’t know.

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